Unfitting Memories
by Snozzle
Summary: As Tonks fears death she thinks about the men of her life. Minor NTRL but mainly NTSS. Fairly angsty.


**Disclaimer: **I'm not JK Rowling.  
**Claimer: **I own this idea.  
**AN: **This is a random idea which was intended to start asa dark Tonks fic, but it ended up in a totally different place - Snape/Tonks.

* * *

"You're repulsive!" she spat, as he gripped her wrists tightly in his pale, bony fingers. "And I could never love you. I'd sooner die than serve you!"

"Then you will die," Voldemort replied bitterly. Tonks swallowed hard, digesting those words. She nodded.

"Very well," she managed to say, thinking over her young life that she expected was soon to come to an end. Right now, she would embrace the end. No more fighting, no more death, no more pain. No more anything. Just her death.

-

_"Remus, I have to tell you something," she said as she sat opposite him at the table in The Burrow. He looked up from his notes, and sighed. _

_"Yes Tonks?" he asked, obviously not in the mood for anything at the present time. It's now or never, Tonks thought to herself, plucking up the courage. _

_"I-um… Remus-I… I love you." He stared at her for a few moments._

_"No, Tonks, you don't," he finally managed. "I'm a werewolf, years older than you… I could never be good for you. Ever." And with that, he pushed away from the table and left her. _

-

Tonks pulled her arms around herself. She had been waiting in this cold, damp cell for what felt like hours, just thinking. Retracing every memory she ever held dear, every memory she wished to forget.

Every memory that didn't seem to fit.

-

_"Nymphadora. What a surprise." Tonks turned around to face the voice. The man had his arms crossed, an obvious detesting expression upon his face. _

_"I came to see the headmaster…"_

_"He is out," Snape explained. "But I think I can help you… I believe you are here to discuss the new Auror roles?" Tonks nodded. "Follow me." _

_Tonks reluctantly followed the newly instated Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher along winding passageways and into the dungeons, careful where she stood on the uneven paving. Snape opened a door to his office, and Tonks sat down in one of the moth-eaten chairs. _

_"A drink?" Snape questioned, holding up a vial of wine. Tonks shook her head._

_"No thanks," she replied just as coolly, watching as he poured a glass for himself. Snape took a sip from his drink before going through a drawer. A minute or two later, he handed her an envelope. _

_"From the headmaster," he explained. "He apologises that he could not make the meeting." Tonks nodded._

_"Thanks." _

_"I must say Nymphadora," he said as she turned to leave. "I never expected you to go for a hair colour so plain." Tonks reached out and touched her hair and looked down at the floor. _

_"It's been a rough few weeks," she finally managed, wondering why she was even bothering with telling Snape this. _

_"Obviously. It's always a pleasant change for you to attempt not to blind everyone with florescent colours." _Half compliment, half insult, _Tonks noted. _He always was good with words.

_"Well, what can I say? It's a right side better than always seeing you fade into the shadows Snape, I can assure you. Whoever said black was the new black obviously had not seen your disastrous taste in 'colour'." She turned to leave again, but Snape's sudden comment through her off-guard. _

_"Say hello to Lupin if you get a chance. I'm sure you have a lot to say to each other." Tonks did not turn around, merely clenched her fists angrily. _

_"You know nothing about that," she whispered, trying to stop the tears falling, trying to prove she wasn't weak. God, she hadn't cried in months, it was almost a sudden release. _

_"On the contrary, everyone in The Order knows something about that." Tonks finally turned, fuming through trying to stay cool and just relax. _

_"What is your fricking game Snape? To purposely upset me? To try and hurt me so much you'll get a reaction out of me? Well guess what! You're getting a bloody react…" _

_She hadn't even noticed him stand up, but he soon cut her off when his lips pressed firmly down on hers. She grabbed at his hair, pulling slightly, venting out every emotion she had felt in the last weeks on the last person she wanted to be kissing. _

_They walked backwards, him backing into the desk as he continually kissed her with as much passion as he could muster. _

_They soon found themselves a tangle of limbs on Snape's bed, both breathing heavily. Tonks grabbed his duvet and pulled it over them both. "What did you do that for?" she finally managed, finally taking control of herself. _

_"I didn't hear you complain Nymphadora," he replied. She said nothing after that. Merely stared up at the ceiling. "Anyway, you better get up. Most of your robes are on the floor in the office." _

_"So that's it?" she asked. "You just used me?"_

_"Well, it depends Nymphadora."_

_"On what?"_

_"Whether you return tomorrow." _

-

She had returned, though she supposed it really was just the raw passion they both wanted from each other. She still loved Remus, and Snape just took over her emotions the best way he could.

Harry had seen her one-day, wondering down the corridors. She had told him she was there to visit Dumbledore, and he had accepted that. Tonks however, couldn't believe she was now lying to everyone.

And so she had ended it, and after that fatal night upon the white tower, he was merely a murderous traitor to her. Nothing but a worthless piece of rotting wood. She hoped she would be the one who would finally be able to destroy him. She supposed she wasn't alone with those feelings.

"Nymphadora." A whisper caused her to look up in surprise. The man himself was just walking through the door. He handed her a dark blue cloak. "Up through the tunnel and the first turning on your left. Keep going on until you reach a gargoyle. Turn it to the left and you can leave."

Tonks stared at him. "What are you doing?" she asked angrily.

"Saving your life by the sounds of it."

"Why?"

"In all of our weeks together I grew quite accustomed to you. War in a dangerous time," he continued, taking the cloak from her hands and pulling it around her shoulders. "And many will fall. I fear I will, so I see no harm in helping you."

She didn't know why she believed him, but something in her snapped, and she saw what was her only escape plan. The only chance she had at surviving. "Good luck," he told her.

"You too."

"Oh, and... Tonks?" She turned again, surprised at hearing him call her by her second name for once. "I love you." Tonks turned to the door in shock, and though she didn't mean it, she felt perhaps Snape deserved to hear the words just once.

"I love you too." And she turned, and walked towards the rest of her life.


End file.
